We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
