is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
