you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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