You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
