I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
