Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
