If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
