Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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