Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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