You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
