Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
