Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
