you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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