Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
