she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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