she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
