I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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