NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
