My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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