what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
