I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
