Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
