he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
