How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
