i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
