so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
