anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
