drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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