one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
