Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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