I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
