thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
