i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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