So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I had to cum in my sink.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
