the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Man, jail baloney is awful.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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