I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
