Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
