Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
