hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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