I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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