I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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