Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
