There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
