I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
