I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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