I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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