Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
