i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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