well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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