Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
